Thursday Thirteen #28

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

Thirteen Things Mark Caldwell hates about cold calls

  1. When they say it will only take a minute of your time it never is. I wouldn’t mind but they’ll never give me an address for me to send my bill.
  2. 99% are a waste of my time and the company paying for its time. I don’t need new double-glazing tested to withstand the long artic winter.
  3. When they pretend to be calling on behalf of a company you actually deal with for something important but can’t tell you which one or my name. The law has two words for that – False Pretences. I also have two words for it but I’m too polite to say them here.
  4. That they call at times their statistical models say they will catch me and make a sale. Otherwise known as dinnertime and when I’m in the shower.
  5. When you ask them nicely to go away they’ve been told they have to keep trying. They’ve been taught we are too polite to hang up. I’m not too polite I apologise and do it anyway then I feel bad because I’ve been rude and that makes me angry for about five minutes. Then I think why am I the one who is angry and hope their boss has an accident at a demonstration of stone cladding double glazing and ends up with an attractive new look.
  6. That an over-paid marketing executive is so uncreative; so burnt out; and so lacking in ideas at their job that they think this is the best way to make me like their brand and buy their mythril framed double-glazing. If you can’t come up with a better strategy why not get work doing something you’re good at. Something honest. Like robbing banks.
  7. I’m signed up to the Telephone Preference Service (UK) so the ones that call me are they’re ignoring that. Basically I only get the really unethical cold callers with the cheapest scripts, Dickensian sweatshop conditions and the staff who’ve already taken the most stick.
  8. They have to have my number either from a company I’ve given it to for some important reason or be using hardware that calls banks of numbers. One is a breach of trust the other is an abuse of the phone system. At least when you get an obscene call your not the only one getting abused*
  9. Friends use answer phones to screen calls for cold callers and I hate speaking to answer phones. The beep makes me a gibbering idiot. I can’t put words together in the right order. I’m more coherent speaking to an attractive woman than an answer phone. The only worse thing is an attractive woman’s answer phone.
  10. Sometime I get more cold calls in a month when I’m in than I get calls from people I know. Make your own punch line up for that one.
  11. When the phone rings and you’re expecting a call you get a bit excited. A bit like a small child, maybe it’s an attractive woman calling, but no it’s a cold call to sell me raspberry ripple flavoured double glazing.
  12. A section of the most talented and well educated part of many developing countries population is sat around trying to sell me antique style double glazing because it’s cheaper to employ them than to come up with a smart targeted way of selling me double glazing for my car. The only experience of westerners workers in foreign call centres get is from cold calling. We hate their calls and they think we’re rude, obnoxious, angry bores who need double glazing. . That’s great form of cultural exchange.
  13. That’s a great message to send when one of those workers is the leader of their nation in twenty years. One day one of them may have nuclear launch codes.

* This joke was "acquired" from Margaret Smith

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. Robin
2. Yuriko
3. ellen b
4. Chelle Y.
5. jennifer
6. heather
7. Thomma Lyn
8. Nap Warden
9. Tink
10. Nicholas
11. Nicole Austin
12. Amanda Regan (madamspud169)
13. Special K Toni
14. The Gal Herself
15. Jen
16. WorkForMom
17. Lori
18. pussreboots
19. Susan Helene Gottfried
20. Jackie
21. My Twenty Cents Keeps Moving
22. A Cowboy’s Wife
23. Sandier Pastures
24. Xakara
25. SandyCarlson
26. Vixen
27. Marcia
28. Matthew James Didier

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Leave a Comment

25 Responses to Thursday Thirteen #28

DoubleDeckerBusGuy Friday, September 28th, 2007

My secrets for quickly ending cold-calls...

#1 AT HOME (when I know it's a third-party call centre... like for a newspaper...)

"I'm sorry, but I work for {the company that's being promoted}!"

#2 AT HOME (when I'm not sure it's a call centre...)

"I'm sorry, I work for the competition and am REALLY not interested."


"My wife is an executive for your competitor's company and to be honest, I already know you can't beat what she's worked out for us. Thanks anyway! (...and hang up.)"

m.o.M. Thursday, September 27th, 2007

So, did you buy the double glazing? Inquiring minds want to know!

My husband just tells them "I can't talk right now, I'm breastfeeding my baby." That must give them coffee break fodder.

Good post.

Joyismygoal Thursday, September 27th, 2007

YEs We have the "do not call list" here in USAit limis these calls but not all of them. Come visit my TTPhoto essay on hands

Vixen Thursday, September 27th, 2007

I agree with every single line. Great post! Happy TT.

Sandy Carlson Thursday, September 27th, 2007

My gosh, you're living my life! We got so tired of the cold call thing we shut down the land line and went totally cellular. The darn thing never rings. I wonder if it's possible to sell minutes on ebay?

Can relate to the excitement one feels when the phone rings only to find out it's nobody at all at the other end.

My list is at

Mom not Mum Thursday, September 27th, 2007

Ugh I hear ya too! I don't know how many times a week I say "I'm not a homeowner" and then hang up. My friend said the exact same thing this morning while I was at her house and I knew EXACTLY what the call was.

Xakara Thursday, September 27th, 2007

We have a Do Not Call list active in my state but it has yet to do its full duty as far as I can tell. But I rarely answer the phone as it's not a device I enjoy. Knowing this, the sneaky *&%$# have started doing automated calls where a machine leaves a message on my voice mail for me to call them back. them back....


Happy TT and wishing you fewer cold calls.


Jackie Thursday, September 27th, 2007

I have zero tolerance for them. I have told them at times to "hang on for a sec". I then just place the phone down and leave it off the hook like that for an hour or two while they wait. LOL

Susan Helene Gottfried Thursday, September 27th, 2007

Yep, I've gotten good at hanging up on those people. Or, if I'm in my office working, I'll pull the classic, "Do you know you've called me at work?"

wow, do they go away fast.

pussreboots Thursday, September 27th, 2007

We have the "do not call list" here in the States and it has helped pare down some of these calls but not all of them. I've stopped being polite to the ones that refuse to follow the law.

Thanks for stopping by my TT. The Jackal's cold bloodedness wasn't what bothered me. I just didn't like the "book report" style of writing.

Lori Thursday, September 27th, 2007

Thats why I screen my calls;)Happy TT.

WorksForMom Thursday, September 27th, 2007

Oh I hate cold calls too. This was spot on!

Jenny McB Thursday, September 27th, 2007

I hung up on a "survey" and they called back. There's a point where I feel sorry, but I still hang up. Luckily we don't get double glaze calls here, mostly windows or magazines.

The Gal Herself Thursday, September 27th, 2007

I love #6. I work in an agency and yes, you're right -- he is overpaid and burnt out. But too well known around town to try robbing banks. :)

Special K ~Toni Thursday, September 27th, 2007

So true, so true! Good T13!

madamspud169 Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

I'd never even considered the fact that the foriegn cold callers will fund their opinion of us by how we answer their calls.

I usually pass mine to my toddler he loves chatting on the phone.

Nicholas Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

I hated those calls too. I used to get them over and over when I lived in London. But the people who phone for double glazing or home improvements companies are usually in the final stages of desperation. They have a shit job with unsocial hours, being paid crap money, usually commission only, by bosses at the very borders of legality, who do their best to find ways not to pay them anyway. They are usually at the end of their tether, so I never used to take my frustrations out on them.

Since I moved to the USA, I have received far fewer calls, because I'm on the Do Not Call list. That doesn't prevent calls from political parties, asking for contributions though. "I shall be voting Communist" usually shuts them up!

Nicole Austin Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

Those calls drive me insane! I have caller id on my phone and if I don't recognize the number then they get the answering machine. Ugh!

Happy TT!

Tink Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

Oh yeah, I soooo agree with you!
My TT shows my Tinkerbell collection.

Nap Warden Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

Right there with ya!

Thomma Lyn Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

Ha! I loathe cold calls so much I don't answer them -- hubby and I have caller ID, and anytime the call is anonymous or designated "out of area", we don't pick it up.

Fun list, and happy TT to you!

Chelle Y. Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

I hate those calls too! Thank God for caller ID! :)

ellen b Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

Ugh! I hear ya!

yh Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

I don't like them either.. here in the US we have telemarketers who try to call us for surveys -- and since it's a survey and they're not selling anything, they can bypass the no-call lists.. and call all they want.

I usually put the phone next to the tellie and have them listen to a commercial, CSI, or a talk show. It usually gets them to hang up first and fast.

Robin Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

I hate those cold calls, but what I hate even more is when I go racing to answer the phone in time only to discover that I'm being called by a computer - AND IT SPEAKS RUSSIAN! I don't even know who's calling to be angry with.

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